One of the biggest hurdles for the men I work with is their EGO.
When a man goes through a life changing event, like divorce or breakup, he has to redefine his ego. His pride is damaged. His self image is lost and he may not know who he is anymore.
Humility is the answer and practicing these 3 things will help build real humility.
1. Embrace your humanness
Having the ability to withstand failure or criticism comes from your sense of intrinsic value of being human. So when you fail at a task or don’t live up to expectations, it doesn’t mean that there is something wrong with you. It just means that you are human like the rest of us.
Scientists suggest that this intrinsic value stems from secure attachment, or the healthy emotional bond formed with others, usually our childhood caregivers. Having the experience of unconditional acceptance and love, particularly when we’re young, can serve as a buffer against the effects of criticism or failure.
Unfortunately, many of us did not experience secure attachment when we were children. One study found that a whopping 40 percent of adults are not securely attached, but thankfully this does not mean we are doomed. We can heal through healthy adult relationships, such as friends, romantic partners, or even with a higher power.
2. Practice mindfulness and self-compassion
In recent years, mindfulness and self-compassion have been linked to greater psychological resilience and emotional well-being. And I can’t imagine developing humility without them.
According to scientists, humble people have an accurate picture of themselves, both their faults and their gifts, which helps them to see what might need changing within.
Mindfulness grows our self-awareness by giving us permission to stop and notice our thoughts and emotions without judgment (if we judge what’s going on inside us, we paint a distorted view of ourselves).
The more we become aware of our inner lives, the easier it is to see where unhealthy beliefs and actions might be limiting us. Noticing and then accepting those parts of ourselves that are wreaking havoc and that require us to make changes calls for self-compassion and treating oneself with kindness and understanding.
Once we accept what needs changing, then we can start the process of transformation. I love the saying from a wise sage, “If you are in a dark room, don’t beat the darkness with a stick. Rather, turn on the light.” In other words, just gently and patiently replace a negative thought or action with a positive one and over time, we may not even recognize the person we once were.
3. Express gratitude
Saying “thank you” means that we recognize the gifts that come into our lives and, as a result, acknowledge the value of other people. Very simply, gratitude can make us less self-focused and more focused on those around us, a hallmark of humble people.
A recent study found that gratitude and humility are mutually reinforcing. Expressing gratitude can induce humility in us, and humble people have a greater capacity for conveying gratitude. The key to humility is seeing life as a journey towards cultivating those qualities that bring out the best in ourselves and others and make this world a better place.
If you are ready to begin this journey, contact me HERE and let's get started today!
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Is a collection of Micah's views regarding men's skills in relationship and their ability to tap into their masculine frame.